She knew for a fact she wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without them, and she was pretty sure they wouldn’t feel the need to without her.

Mitchell once said kissing her was like kissing someone that had just come in from the cold, but when she kisses Gilbert it isn’t like that at all; it’s warm and nice and she forgets for a few moments that they’re both dead.

Some people might have seen staying with Owen as a mistake, and perhaps in some sense it was, but if she hadn’t she’d never have met Mitchell or George and they make everything with Owen worthwhile.

( Cut for ep 6 spoilers )

She can’t listen to Absolute Radio anymore, the 80s hours always makes her think of Gilbert and of how she should have encouraged him to stay; once Echo and the Bunnymen came on unexpectedly and she burst into tears.

She would never tell either boys, she wouldn’t even admit it to herself most of the time, but occasionally she got really scared about what was going to happen to them.